An Amazing Experience

I can't even think of any words to describe the experience of meeting our boys for the first time last weekend. Having them greet us at the door by jumping into our arms as their new Mommy and Daddy was an amazing thing. I don't know what I expected from the first visit but I was really suprised by how well we seemed to fit together.

I was struck by how much they needed us. All along I have been thinking somewhat selfeshly about the whole experience. I wanted a family so bad and I wanted the experience of being a Dad ... I never really thought that I was helping anyone else. It really struck me that the boys need us as much as we need them ... I feel so lucky to have been chosen to be given this chance ... it also feels really good to be in a position to be able to provide them with a good home where they will be loved unconditionally. I feel like I already have a different perspective on why I'm here and what really matters. My experience at work has changed some how ... even just this first week was different .... I felt like it had more meaning .... like I need to get the job done .... I now have the responsibility to provide for these two boys and my family ... it feels good.

I really enjoyed watching my wife interact with them. She has been waiting for so long for this chance to be a Mom and now that she is one everything I thought about how she would be has come true ... she was so good with them. The boys are great kids, full of energy, healthy, smart and loving. We had so much fun with them and I think they had a great time with us as well.

Even after just the first visit it was very difficult to leave them behind when we went back home. I'm preparing for this to get harder every visit. I don't think they are ready to come with us quite yet ... but I know the day will come when they will not understand why we are leaving without them. The next few months are going to be very exciting but very difficult at the same time.

One funny tidbit ... the boys think we live at the hotel. We had them on our own for a few hours and we dropped in to our room to get a few things. Never thought anything of it but after a few minutes the oldest one says "Where's my room?". They are definatelly a little confused and it will take some time for them to understand.

I can't wait to get them home.

Getting Close Now

Its 10 to 7 on a Sunday morning and I'm sitting here updating this Blog that no-one is reading. Only a few days now before we meet our new sons for the first time. We are leaving for Elliot Lake on Thursday for our first meeting with them over the weekend. Feeling really excited and extremely nervous at the same time ... will we be good enough for them. Will they run towards us or run away ... who knows? We were trying to pick out a toy to take up to them when we first meet them .... nothing I saw seemed good enough .... how can you possibily find that perfect gift. I am already starting to think of them as my own .. we have their picture up on the fridge and I can't help but look at it everytime I pass. I am constantly wondering what they are doing at a given moment.

Also thinking about how our lives are going to change ... it will be awhile before we can enjoy a quiet dinner/evening together. We will have to try to make time for ourselves sometime. Time seems to be passing by slowly as we wait for our first meeting.

Have talked to them on the phone already and have heared those little voices say "Hi Mommy" and "Hi Daddy" ... wow ... that was unexpected. We were worried so much at first about how the kids would adjust ... now its starting to seem like its us that will have to do the adjusting.